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Unwanted Advice
09.12.2014 [New Moms & Dads]

unwanted-adviceI’m not sure if any of you know what it means to have an Italian mother in law, but let’s just say I got a LOT of unwanted advice that first year. I loved her dearly, but didn’t know how to get her to stop dispensing her continuous stream of advice. It seemed no matter what I did, it wasn’t done quite right. I was frustrated and second guessed everything. It was not a good place to be.

No matter what, remember that this new little person is not only important to you but also to other close family members. Because they love you and have a close relationship with you, they feel this allows them to comment and suggest.  They are well meaning and want what’s best for this newest addition to the family. You just need some guidance in how to respond.

  • Listen first: I think we all tend to get defensive and feel as if we are being judged. Most likely you are not and the other person is sharing what they feel is valuable and important. Try to listen, there may be something that you may be able to use that you never thought of.
  • Disregard: Acknowledge the other person and if there is there is no convincing the other person to change their mind, just smile, nod and make a non-committal response, such as “Interesting!” Then go about your business…and don’t look back
  • Pick Your Battles: Wow…incredibly important life lesson. Determine what issues are most important to you as you raise your child. What are the deal breakers so to speak. If your mother –in-law wants the baby to wear a hat in 75 degree weather, just do it.  It won’t have any long term effects. But, if she states her strong opinion on sleep training or feeding practices, and you don’t agree, you need to hold your ground.
  • Educate Yourself and the Other Person: Knowledge is power and you will feel more confident having it! Empower yourself by reading evidence based information on parenting issues. Once you’ve gained the knowledge, share it. It might be that the unwanted advice is just a lack of correct information. You may open their mind!
  • Seek Out Like- Minded Friends: Go to a postpartum support group. I think you get your best support from people that are going through the same experience as you are.  This will give you the strength to face people who don’t understand your viewpoints.

And lastly, regardless of the advice, this is YOUR baby and in the end, you will raise your child the way you think best. In the end, it’s really not worth creating a war and possible damaging a relationship over a well-meaning person’s comments.

Soothing Sounds for Sleep
09.03.2014 | New Moms & Dads

Ok I’ll be honest. In order to get my newborn daughter to sleep 24 years ago, I would put her in a bouncer seat, put the seat on the dryer (safely strapped in of course with me seated right next to her!), and let it run through one or two cycles.  She loved the warmth, […]

Skin to Skin – It’s what’s in!
08.15.2014 | New Moms & Dads

A newborns natural habitat is lying on the mothers (or fathers) chest, skin to skin immediately after being born and in the hours, days and weeks after. Skin to skin, means just that, baby’s bare skin against mother’s bare skin. No blankets or clothing interfering. The mother’s body will keep baby plenty warm while the […]

Tip-Over Furniture Can Kill Kids
08.07.2014 | New Moms & Dads

It can happen in an instant: A small child pulls up on a television, dresser or computer monitor and gets critically injured when the furniture tips over. “Every parent or guardian of a young child should look around their homes and imagine what could tip over, fall off walls and injure a child. Imagining it […]

2014 Breastfeeding: A Winning Goal for Life!
08.01.2014 | New Moms & Dads

World Breastfeeding Week is celebrated every year in more than 120 countries to encourage breastfeeding and improve the health of babies around the world. Here at SMH we are celebrating World Breastfeeding Week August 1-7th with a host of both fun and educational activities centered on this year’s theme: Breastfeeding: A winning goal for life!  […]

Breastfeeding Support & Latch Clinic
07.25.2014 | New Moms & Dads

Join us as we hear what is working for other mothers, share information and resources, and make connections with other breastfeeding moms.  The clinic is facilitated by a Certified Breastfeeding Counselor. The clinic is open to all, and there is no registration necessary. Every Tuesday, 2:00 PM – 3:30PM Waldemere Medical Plaza 1921 Waldemere St. Second Floor Call 917-1700 […]

Fantastic nurses from Labor and Delivery and the Mother-Baby Unit!
07.18.2014 | New Moms & Dads

Great photo of our fantastic nurses from Labor and Delivery and the Mother-Baby Unit. So far, this group has assisted in over 1500 special deliveries for 2014! Click on the image to see a full-size version of these smiling faces!

REPOST: Look Before You Lock and Other Safety Tips
07.08.2014 | New Moms & Dads

This post, from July 2013, is still relevant today. With the recent occurrences of child heat stroke deaths in mind, please take a few minutes and read it again. Did you know a child dies from heatstroke about once every 10 days from being left alone in a hot vehicle? In fact, heatstroke is the leading cause […]

Signs and Symptoms of Preterm Labor
06.26.2014 | New Moms & Dads

All pregnant women look forward to meeting their baby, seeing who they look like and holding that precious kicking machine for the first time. Often by the last month or two of pregnancy, moms are feeling ready to not be pregnant anymore and live without the common discomforts of the third trimester. But sometimes, baby […]

FDA Sets Safety Standards for Infant Formula
06.20.2014 | New Moms & Dads

A new rule that aims to ensure the safety of infant formula has been finalized by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. An initial version of the rule for manufacturers of infant formula was released in February and the final version contains some modifications and clarifications that were made in response to comments received by […]